Our story

The need to tell our story is nearly instinctive. It emerges from our need to be understood, to form psychological communities of our own.

Trouble is, communities form when we tell our story to ready listeners. Communities don’t form when we tell our stories to reluctant listeners.

Both these listeners have already formed their judgements. Your story merely reinforces their judgements of ‘Yes, I’m with you in this’ or ‘No, I’m not with you’.

What you receive after your narration is largely about them, not your narrative. Your narrative is merely the trigger for them to express themselves.

The neatest, least time-wasting, mind space-conserving way is to tell your story only when doing so can bring a real benefit. Not because you merely seek people’s understanding.