Tag: Self

The Year That’s Past

I woke one middle of the night a week ago with my shoulders hunched. The saddest things of the year stood out in my mind. The things that I was to achieve but didn’t, the people who had passed on and the friends who were going through setbacks – these things went round and round in my head.

The year couldn’t have been that bad! I decided then to make a list for the year that was past.

Many good. Some harsh. Some not so good, but others have had it worse. This is my list for the year gone.

  • Moved fully out of corporate. Not even part time sitting in offices any more. Considering that I am far more comfortable sitting by myself and writing than interacting and handling the thousand other things that happen in offices, this is one grand achievement for me.
  • Wrote the Nilgai story. Got decent reviews from friends and family.
  • Began rewriting Nilgai story and it sounds far better.
  • Got first cheque from the first freelance client’s client.
  • Trouble for friend from all sides. They are reaching a peak.
  • Got call for another freelance work.
  • Got legally divorced.
  • Learnt the value and warmth of my in-laws once more.
  • In regular touch with niece.
  • Got control over what I eat. I don’t know how it came about, one morning I woke and I no longer wanted to snack at all hours. What relief!
  • More involvement in meditation.
  • Started Reiki again at the very end of the year.
  • Talking to mom and dad and sis and cousins regular.
  • Less irritability. Feels more peaceful.
  • Enjoying driving the car.
  • Did the second freelance work. Vexing, but done.
  • I pick up the courage to ask uncle, if my children story writing future will work. He was categorical. He said it should have happened last year. But go ahead beta he said. Nothing to look back, be it stories, be it money.
  • Uncle has stood by me from the darkest time of my life to the time when the sun is rising again. He’s been a guide to me for a full 10 years. This year he passed on. He’s the one I looked up to for advice, a look into the future and guidance these past years when there didn’t seem to be a road ahead. A lump in the throat even now.
  • My uncle, dad’s brother, who treated us as his own, passed on. We all believed he had a good decade and more. Too early for him. Too painful for us. Heartbreaking for cousins who need him still. Can’t get my head around the fact that he’s not walking in that house any more.
  • At least got the chance to be with him in September.
  • Brother-in-law steps in to support family in his quiet way.
  • Finished a kid’s short story.
  • Publisher wants to see the full manuscript.
  • Ghost writing a book for the first client.
  • Ghost writing offer confirmed from another client.
  • Friend getting married. Whoopee!
  • Got another story idea when thinking of daughter. It’s one I can’t just set aside, a must write story. Can’t wait to begin!

 

Even after making this list, when I sit alone, the first things that come to mind are the difficult ones. But now, I have this list and there are so many things to be grateful for.

When my shoulders hunch, all I have to do is look at this list.

 

When Do You Decide What’s Not Right for You?

When you can’t hold value to what you are doing?

When it goes against your values?

When the people you deal with work against your values?

When the work system is diametrically opposite your method of work?

When your work isn’t important to those around?

When your well-being is a matter of words but not in practice for your bosses?

 

Any of the above is my answer.

 

On the flip side, when do you decide what’s right for you?

 

When there is nothing else you’d rather be doing than this little piece of work that you’re born to do. It may be the tiniest cog in a vast wheel, but it’s all you can think of doing. It feels so important that you cannot let a day go by without regret that you haven’t set your hand to it.

Teaching Confidence – Let Her Be Herself

We took the brand new, bright-blue Micra out one busy evening.

“Do you have someone to stand guard on it through the day and night?” asked Mr Duggal, my driving instructor.

“No,” said I.

“What if there’s a big scratch? What would you do?” he asked.

“What could I do?” said I. “I wouldn’t know who’s done it.”

“So when you take it out today,” said Mr Duggal, “The car may get a few scratches. It’s not any worse than an anonymous someone scratching it,” he said.

I smiled.

“So forget the scratches you might make and drive on,” said Mr Duggal.

 

Teaching confidence doesn’t come of warning your child

Of all the things she could break

When the most important thing is for her to learn.

Nobody ever learnt 2 things at a time.

1. To learn a thing

2. Without a scratch

Important thing isn’t that there never is a fall

But that she knows it’s ok to fall

And gets up when she does.

This helps her loosen up and be herself.

That’s how she builds confidence

And resilience and the zillion other things that give her success and peace.

 

Teaching Confidence – They Know Best

As Life Happens

I went through school thinking I was learning for later life
Then I learnt that while a million things kept me busy at school
The real work that happened was about sharpening my brain and dealing with people.

I began going through work and life,
Planning on reaching the next level each day, each year.
But as I reach out, I realise
Life isn’t about reaching the next level.

I learnt that the real work in life is to know myself.
The real me.
The one that is neither good, nor bad.
Neither smart nor dumb.
Not a mother, not a daughter, not a friend – just me.
I am still peeling the layers.

The rest are things that keep me busy as I do the real work.

If we can Set Aside our Need for Praise

If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d appreciate others more.

If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d denigrate others less.


If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d feel less hurt when someone else is praised.

If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d be truly happy for others.


If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d see the good in others more often.

If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d feel less threatened by others.


If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d be more content and less acquisitive.

If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d need less importance.


If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d be more discerning of true value.

If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d let go of the unimportant things in life.


If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d smile more often.

If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d walk with a swing in our step.


If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d love others more.

If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d love ourselves more.


If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d live our lives more.

Who We Are

Who we are vs Who we aren’t.

If only we realized the difference, our lives would be simpler.

We aren’t just Doctors, Presidents, Ministers and Directors. Nor are we just daughters, sons, fathers, mothers or more. These are just the names, the manifestations – the clothing over ourselves.

What, then are we?

The sum total of –

• Our dreams & Our desires
• The stuff within ourselves that makes us work hard and with great pleasure to achieve the things of our dreams and our desires
• The stuff within ourselves that prevents us from doing so
• That which makes us respond to people with goodness and kindness
• That which makes us respond to people with harshness and selfishness

These are just some of the things that make up what we are.

If we realize this, it becomes hard for us to elevate people by their titles, homes, vehicles and clothing. It becomes hard for us to ignore people for the lack of these same things.

Unkindness and being covetous no longer get cloaked in money and power. Goodness in the small places will then find recognition and a place in our hearts.

We begin responding to people by their inner selves and not their outer ones.

We recognize the truth in our lives. That, I believe is the beginning of a satisfied life. A happy life – whether good happens to us or not.

If we realize this, We have Made it in Life, Whether we Make it in the World or Not.

We will no longer force ourselves to become the outer manifestation. We will do what we are here to do.

We will not force our children to become the manifestation. We will let them be. We will set them free to do what their inner selves drive them inexorably to do.

And we’ll leave the world a richer place. If only we realized this inner truth of Who we Are.