If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d appreciate others more.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d denigrate others less.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d feel less hurt when someone else is praised.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d be truly happy for others.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d see the good in others more often.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d feel less threatened by others.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d be more content and less acquisitive.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d need less importance.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d be more discerning of true value.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d let go of the unimportant things in life.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d smile more often.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d walk with a swing in our step.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d love others more.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d love ourselves more.
If we can set aside our need for praise, we’d live our lives more.
Poetry in Life 
Very true.
Need of praise… Where did it originate from?
The other day was in a Psychiatric presentation about Parenting. He discussed the mode of Awarding the Positive Behaviour… All iz Well…!!! It seems.
But it set me thinking.
From the very childhood we condition our children that for every good that they do, we reward them. It is not a natural behaviour, as unless the reward turns up, the cycle is not complete. If at any point, the reward does not turn up, or is lesser then the expected, the behaviour is not good enough, it seems.
If we look at the rest of the nature, there is nothing like good or bad. A behaviour, either leads you to life or death. Is that the reward for them…?
On second thoughts, the so called good behaviour, stems from our need of praise, appreciation. So it is following the Aristotle’s Causative Principle.
The real goodness is inherent… intrinsic…. Is it?
Milton says, “Virtue untested is no virtue.”
Gita says, “Don’t aspire for the final result, just do what you have to do.”
It is late, and I have to go to the office, else I will be punished…
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You’re right – But then rewarding or praising good behaviour in our childhood is part of our carrot and stick approach – I do believe it is part of our initiation into life. if you look at animals, they may not have a carrot approach, but the stick definitely exists. As humans, even as grown ups, we can’t live life with the stick alone – we need a balance between the two, hence we use both – or we risk alienating the child from ourselves.
The need I’d say is to reinforce the good behaviour without going overboard. More importantly, how we respond to reinforcing factors is entirely up to us. It probably comes intrinsically from ourselves as much as it does from the environment.
Anju Bobby George had once replied to a question about whether she felt a sense of achievement on being awarded X award, and she said, the award is the result of something – her own efforts and results. This result – of performing her best and achieving that length of jump / being at the top gave her a real sense of achievement. This is the fact that I was referring to – Of doing a good thing and being satisfied with doing it.
If we stop there, and not look for appreciation or comparison beyond it, our lives are free.
‘Cause that is the inner drive carrying us. With this we come right around to your statement of real goodness…..inherent… intrinsic.
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Lovely Madhuri M’am 🙂
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Thank you Prachi.
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Madhuri…good one. But need to figure out what actually you meant. We may not look for praise always but —acknowledgement—yes. Well needs little mind application….
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better late thn never
started reading ur blogs 🙂
seemed so true while reading tht i dnt hav words to comment
hope to be lucky with words next time
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I am not saying that the Carrot and Stick ought not be balanced. What I am saying in much more fundamental.
We initiate our children into “Carrot and Stick.” We humans profess to have “Free Will”?
We, it seems, have a so called advantage over the rest of the species of have “Intellect.” Through the so called intellect we have constructed a world a zone that is very different from the one that is natural. That zone.. lit by the neon lights.. is hideously glamorous and not self sustaining. In other words we have become the most wasteful race that exist on the face of the earth. As we, humans do not have much competition, we have thrived and so has the ‘Carrot and Stick” dogma.
It has become too deeply ingrained in us.. and praise is the carrot.
Are there no other ways to be “GOOD”?
Are there no other dogmas other then the “Carrot and Stick”?
Why the carrot, why the stick, why the good, why the bad…
As we have classified them, thus?
Why this thus-ness?
Is there no other way to grown up and live in this…?
Maybe am being too abstract… sorry.
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